i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
