i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So much rum. So many feels.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
