you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
