if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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