watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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