That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
