look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
