No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
