my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
