Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
