If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize