I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Pants are for mortals
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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