at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
