At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
