Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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