problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
