then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm always down for nudity.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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