The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
