Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
