toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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