It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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