I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
