alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
