My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
