dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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