Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
