You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
