I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
