i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
