I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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