Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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