I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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