I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
