You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
