Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
