i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
