I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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