I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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