this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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