whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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