I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
