No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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