well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm getting married
To pizza
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
