Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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