Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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