Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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