Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
