It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
