All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
