You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
