omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
this is an emotional support booty call
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
