Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
