This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
