Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
