The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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