OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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