i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
