possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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